The Storm Inside of Me
by ComeOnWe'reTeamSparia
Summary: "As though an avalanche had been set off inside of her, she cried out, "It hurts, Spence." That was all it took before both Spencer's and Aria's built up emotions had exploded in violent bawls." takes place in 4B. After math of ezrA.


**Hi! This idea came to me at 3:30 in the morning and I couldn't shake it off until I wrote it. It takes place in 4B after the girls have already confronted Spencer about her addiction and also after they have found out about Ezra. Enjoy :) Please if you read it, Review! I want to know what you guys thought!**

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A mere half an hour ago, Aria Montgomery was on the verge of ending it all due to extreme heart break done by none other than Ezra Fitz. Instead, she had decided to go to someone who could help her. Now, she was sitting in the Hastings living room begging a numb and an out of it Spencer Hastings for help.

"Spencer," she said as she stared at the brunette that had bags under her eyes and a distant look in them. "Spence, please I need you. Please come back. Spence, if- if you can't keep yourself together then how can I?" Aria's voice cracked as she tried to swallow her tears. "Please, please don't tell me that I lost you too," she begged as the tears have started to quickly run down her face, blurring her vision.

Spencer continued to stare at nothing. Not even Aria's tearful begging could bring her back to reality. When no response was given, Aria flung herself at Spencer. She threw her head into her lap and began violently sobbing. "Please, I can't lose you too. I'm barely holding on. I can't lose someone else that I've loved," she cried out between sobs.

Ten minutes later, when Aria had calmed down enough to be able to form coherent words, she looked up at Spencer and tried again. "Could you at least look at me?" Once again, Spencer did not even acknowledge Aria's presence. "I really have lost you, haven't I?" she asked. First, her boyfriend, whom she believed was her soul mate, had been the one who had been out to kill her, her friends and had even attempted to kill Alison, and now Spencer, her best friend and her saviour, had decided to completely shut her out.

Spencer did not mean to ignore Aria, she really did not. She just felt completely numb on the inside that she was afraid that one little movement might set her off into an explosion. The drugs that she had started taking had completely back fired on her and turned into such an ugly addiction that she could not even manage to comfort her best friend. However, as she saw Aria breaking down right in her own lap, something snapped inside of her and her heart suddenly could not handle it anymore. She decided that she needed to try anything to soothe her distraught friend. As she was trying to attempt to stroke Aria's hair, something caught her eye. Something alarming.

With wide eyes, Spencer spoke for the first time since Aria had barged into her house. "Aria." Startled, Aria quickly looked up at Spencer. Before she could say anything, Spencer spoke again and this time asked, "What is that?" Aria was clueless as to what Spencer was talking about. At least she was, until she followed Spencer's gaze which led to her accidently exposed left wrist. Upon the realization, Aria quickly pulled her sleeve down and mumbled, "Nothing. You don't have to worry about it."

Instead of letting the subject slide as Aria would have hoped, Spencer gripped her right wrist. "You're doing it again, aren't you?" she accused. Aria lowered her gaze, ashamed. "Yes," she whispered vulnerably. "Why?" Spencer exclaimed. "You said you stopped. It's been two years since you've done it! Why did you start again?" she yelled.

"Do you really want to know, Spencer?" Aria yelled back as she brought her gaze up and locked her eyes with Spencer's. "I was in so much pain. I _am_ in so much pain. I had to do something. I needed release. You cannot be upset at me for that. It's been so long since I've done and I didn't mean to do it again, you have to believe me," she cried as tears threatened to fall down her face again. "I needed something to fall back on and one person betrayed me and you already had so much going on! It's Ezra, Spencer! Ezra tried to kill me. He tried to kill you! tried to kill Ali," she cried. "I thought he loved me but it turned out that he never did. God, I was so naïve! I just want to slit my wrists every time I think about it and have to admit what happened out loud. I," she hesitated. "I even tried to but I stopped in time and then I came here instead," she whispered. "But this is not only about me, Spence. You said you would stop taking those drugs too! If you can't even stop, then how can I, Spence? I need you here and I need you to be healthy," she begged as tears kept rushing down her face. "You need help, Spencer! Please, let me help you. Let me get you the help you need."

When no answer came from Spencer, Aria screamed, "Spencer! Are you even listening to me?" Seconds went by when Aria realized what had Spencer so occupied. She had been staring at her wrist. "Spencer, ar-," Aria's words were cut short by Spencer's actions. Spencer held Aria's left hand and ran her thumb over her fresh cuts. few moments later, she brought Aria's hand over to her and softly yet firmly pressed her lips to her wrist and kissed the cuts. Aria whimpered at Spencer's intimate actions. Then suddenly, as though an avalanche had been set off inside of her, she cried out, "It hurts, Spence." That simple confession was all it took before both Spencer's and Aria's built up emotions from the past two years had exploded in violent bawls, leaving Spencer hunched over Aria, while Aria shook violently in her lap.

For the first time in two years, Aria and Spencer have allowed themselves to be completely vulnerable as they tried to free themselves from the storm of emotions that they have bottled up inside.

For the first time in two years, they both allowed themselves to completely lose the control that they have worked hard to keep.

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**Well there you have it! I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it, but please do let me know what YOU thought. I hope you guys liked it! :)**


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